Tuesday, October 5, 2010

The Art Of Conversation

Most of us, like, or rather I would say love to talk most of the times, without pausing to stop even for a moment to see the effect on the listener. And most of the times we are talking about trivial matters, not that it is wrong to make small talks but most of the times we want to the other to surrender meekly to the verbal onslaught we had launched on the poor fellow who had the misfortune to step into the firing line. Well that is one of the reasons we talk with others to bring them around to our point of views even if it might be a big mistake that we would regret later but still we are unable to stop ourselves from launching verbal missiles that we are often very confident to hit the target accurately.

This vindictive streak in our nature is a sad reminder of our times in which we are living where everything revolves round the attainment of the ever so elusive, the so called success in life and utilizing all our energies to attain and maintain it at any cost. We are so bitten by the success bug that we are willing to sacrifice anything and everything for anyone who can give us the magic formula of getting successful in a jiffy. We are not ready to wait for our efforts to bear fruits in natural course of time. We are not willing to wait that long, rather we would like to enjoy the fruits of success this very moment and we are not even ready to work for it. Rather it should fall from the skies like proverbial manna of biblical times.

Since most of us are busy seeking shortcuts to our destination that we are unable to pick up the hints the life has strewn all along the way. Only if we were not so busy to plan and design our lives as everything now comes with a designer tag and the mad scramble to have a designer life which boast of everything being so designer like or custom made begins, where there is no place for all the problems the mankind is facing today.

Most of us use conversations as a means, tool or device, take your pick, whichever takes your fancy, to intimidate, ridicule, subdue or threaten others only sometimes it is used for its true purpose i.e. for exchange of ideas or information. Very rarely it is used for what it actually intended in the first place for understanding or taking an interest in the lives of the others. Most of the time the spotlight is turned on oneself, choosing to showcase the successes, conquests or victories to the world.

The self centred egocentric world we inhabit has no room for the others as our equals, they are merely welcomed in our worlds as inferior sidekicks, fall guys or scapegoats who must be ready to entertain and pamper the ego of the employer at any cost, at the drop of the hat, even it may seem a worthless futile and demeaning exercise just to keep the body and soul together. They must perform against all odds since this is what they are paid for with. But this proactive approach towards others is fraught of grave dangers such as being misunderstood or worse still being called a manipulator.

Being accused of playing with the emotions of others is quite a disgusting or disturbing trait one may come across, but though detestable it may be seen but it does not deter some people to do it with impunity and the most shocking thing is that people seem to enjoy it as long as it is happening to the others preferably to some strangers or unknown persons, then it is easy to distance oneself and remain unperturbed about it and commenting on the matter in a very casual, neutral or impartial manner. Often the information is used as a weapon to destroy or annihilate the other, never pausing to consider that it is a double-edged weapon designed to cut both ways. The wielder of the weapon is also in danger of cutting himself if he is not too careful when playing around with such a dangerous thing.


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